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TOPIC: Death Care

Death Care 24 Nov 2008 08:51 #154

We are welcoming bloggers and others in the death care industry to read our deathcare blogs and possilby contribute at http://www.deathcare.com.

Please have a look and let me know what you think.

Death Care (.com)
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Re:Death Care 04 Dec 2008 10:43 #158

  • sadndistressed
  • sadndistressed's Avatar
My Father just recently passed away October 26th 2008, and I have a very serious problem with them.
I am his only living heir and daughter. There was a friend on his irrevocable funeral trust agreement. she is listed as a contact person that the funeral home may request councel of. Needless to say this women I ditested even before my father passed and I knew she would screw everything up. The obituary in the paper was all wrong, and after the viewing and services the funeral parlor gave her the sign in book all the family cards in the box with money and the cross everything was given to this person who was not even family she was nothing to my dad othere than a friend. This is is all so disheartning and all the personal pictures that she did return are ruined from tape please can someone give me advice as to what right this funeral home had to give a complete stranger all my fathers stuff register cards with money flowers everything went to her.
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Re:Death Care 11 Dec 2008 11:37 #163

  • northstar73
  • northstar73's Avatar
  • Licensed Embalmer and Funeral Director

Unfortunately with the way family relations today have broken down, your situation is not as uncommon as you may think. Your answer depends on answering a few other questions first and following these steps:

1. Does the "friend" of your father's have any legal status (i.e. guardianship or power of attorney)? In some cases, a power of attorney continues after death and overrides your legal status as closest living next of kin.

2. In what state do you live in? The reason I ask is that all states have guidelines for not only who the person is that may take "custody" of a person's body after they die but also the order in which those people may. For example, in most states, a wife and children are both legal next of kin, but the wife's authority is superior to that of the children. Regardless of what the children want, the wife is the only recognized party by the state to make the arrangments. Research your state's ordered list of people with right of "custody" to see where you and the "friend" stand.

3. Ask the funeral home for copies of the preneed forms that your father filled out. While it is possible that this "friend" is listed as someone the funeral home may "counsel" upon the death of your father, such forms usually do NOT pre-empt the states listing of who is responsible for arrangements under the law. Ask the funeral director to show you where the form states that the counsel of said "friend" takes precedence over you being the closest living and LEGAL next of kin to your father.

I suggest you complete the first two steps first, then the third, so you may answer any statements that are presented to you by the funeral home. However, you may also choose to just proceed with step 3 and forgoe the other two steps. The funeral director will then have to answer the question of why they worked with the "friend" and not you as well as how the "friend" is the legal next of kin. If they cannot, tell the funeral director that by not following the wishes of the closest next of kin, and by not having a statement from you saying someone else could handle the arrangements, they violated the law by dealing with her and you are now examining your options for the next step and want to know what they think they should do about it. Again, if they did follow the law, then they will produce the documents showing how they did, saving you the hassle of doing the first two steps above. If not, then you have a position to work from. Most funeral homes are not out hurt families or get involved in family situations, and will do what they can to make it right.

I am sorry about the death of your father and feel even worse that the actions of this "friend" and the funeral home only made this time worse for you.
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Re:Death Care 19 Aug 2010 17:31 #361

  • tumbleweed
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Dear Death Care

I'm having difficulty logging into your website.
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Re:Death Care 19 Aug 2010 18:17 #362


What is the nature of your login difficulties? Need more details.

Since you had to login to funerals.org in order to post a forum message, am I to assume you are having trouble with other web site links given in messages in this forum?
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Re:Death Care 20 Aug 2010 06:55 #363

  • tumbleweed
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I mis spoke, what I meant to convey is I can't log into deathcare.com the web siite. I 've had no trouble whatsoever with FCA. I apologize for the poor communication.
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