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TOPIC: Death in one state, burial in another

Death in one state, burial in another 08 Jul 2011 15:37 #488

My mother passed away this past December in Colorado. We had a viewing and she was cremated. We also had a memorial service for her at her church in Colorado. She had requested that she be buried in her cemetery plot next to my father in New York.

Since we have already done everything except the burial, I do not want to pay a funeral home in NY for more than I need to. The funeral home I have contacted said that in addition to the cemetery charge, there will also be a funeral home facility charge, a funeral supervision fee and a hearse charge totaling $1100. This does not include the headstone engraving. We have already paid over $5000 for the Colorado services. Now I have to pay for airfare, transporting of the cremains and the rest.

I want to have a small service at her church in NY and bypass the funeral home services charges. All I would want is the hearse to deliver to cemetary. Is this allowed in NY, or does the funeral home have to be involved in everything?
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Re: Death in one state, burial in another 08 Jul 2011 16:01 #489

That's ridiculous. Here are some suggestions:

1. It only costs about $75 for a funeral home to package and mail the urn registered mail. Talk to the Colorado funeral home about that.

2. Bring the urn to the cemetery yourself and bypass the funeral home altogether. There's no need for their involvement (if the cemetery itself does all the burial work - call and discuss this with them).

You don't need a formal hearse, but if you want one, the funeral home is going to charge, and probably exorbitantly. Also, you don't need them for the church service. You can organize it yourself and bring the urn yourself.

3. If for some reason you do use a funeral home, shop around by phone. Explain to them that all you want is their help to do X, Y, and Z. There are likely to be other funeral homes more reasonably priced.
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Re: Death in one state, burial in another 08 Jul 2011 17:22 #490

The funeral home director in Colorado told us that he would send the cremains for $95 but only to a funeral home destination. If he will only send to a funeral home, then we will be probably by charged by the funeral home that is receiving, correct?
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Re: Death in one state, burial in another 08 Jul 2011 18:00 #491

The funeral director doesn't get to make that choice. Those cremated remains belong to you. I would tell him in no uncertain terms that he is to send them to wherever you instruct him or there's going to be complaints filed and noise made.

Josh Slocum
Exec. Director
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Re: Death in one state, burial in another 12 Jul 2011 12:35 #492

Another problem I'm having is that I cannot get the phone number to the cemetery where my mother's plot is located. It is not listed on the web. There is a cemetery association in the town where the cemetery is located, and that phone number is also not listed. I emailed the someone on the village website, and they referred me back to the very same funeral director that I am trying to bypass. I can't believe how hard it is to try and locate a number for this cemetery. I guess they don't want anyone except funeral directors to deal with them.
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Re: Death in one state, burial in another 10 Aug 2011 01:53 #510

  • Stimmer
  • Stimmer's Avatar
You should ask about the locals that is it feasible to go for such ceremonies in New York or not. They are best to give you information about it. Also you can know about the acts and charges that are applied over there...
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